Jamie's Dream School, a youth club with david starkey instead of a pool table.

And don't forget, too, that this is basically just unwitting (I hope) Tory propaganda: set up your own school with zero expertise, exercise crushingly ignorant "parent-power," don't take the time to consult any real school teachers (ugly depressing lot anyway), represent education as some sort of empowering celeb-motivation system (rather than something quite unglamorously hard), and pack it all with out-of-date imagery involving chalk and inkwells and desks with lids. Meanwhile, pay to send your own kids somewhere else, of course.

The worst thing about this latest installment of Jamie-bollocks is that you just know it comes about because he's going through the classically deluded celeb cycle of having to moralise about and transform whatever utterly generic stage of life he's currently going through. (Like that thing where they have a kid and then immediately publish a crap children's book.) That was all very nice when Jamie had learned how to cook so wanted to show everyone else how to, but now - Jesus. I'm trying to imagine future projects: Jamie's Midlife Crisis, Jamie's Dream Care Home, Jamie's How to Grieve, etc. etc