I personally think they're both forgetting that Tottenham Hotspur are run by a certain Daniel Levy. Custis mentions a possible £25 million fee for Luka Modric. Obviously, he wasn't around on the day Levy skinned United for just over £31 million for an ageing striker.

Father Murphy not only was never tried or disciplined by the church’s own justice system, but also got a pass from the police and prosecutors who ignored reports from his victims, according to the documents and interviews with victims. Three successive archbishops in Wisconsin were told that Father Murphy was sexually abusing children, the documents show, but never reported it to criminal or civil authorities.

Labour's latest PPB: Vote Tory, die of cancer.

How to wear plaid (if at all)

Someone, somewhere, suggested that Demi Moore should make out with Patrick Swayze, through the medium of Whoopi Goldberg. Whatever this person was on at the time, I need to try it. (see how I was gender neutral)

Camera Obscura

Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying,
8This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.

9But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.

10And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand: 11Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

12Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended, after they heard this saying? 13But he answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up. 14Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

15Then answered Peter and said unto him, Declare unto us this parable. 16And Jesus said, Are ye also yet without understanding? 17Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught? 18But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. 19For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: 20These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.

'In Europe, not run by Europe' makes as much sense as 'In Wormwood Scrubs, not run by Wormwood Scrubs'.

I like the way Unemployed has become Economically inactive in New[Labour]Speak - small step from Involuntarily leisured.

Reminds me of an incident some years ago. The incumbent Pope had made his decree that Catholics shouldn't use contraceptives. An official in The White House said, in a mock Italian accent, "He no playa da game, he no maker da rules." which I thought was funny but he had to resign.

Its interesting that the MoneySupermarket.com commercials play on the Arab/Middle Eastern stereotype for haggling, with Omad Djalili duly playing his part. There is no way the ad would have run if the central character was parodying an Hisidic Jew chasing after the 'best deals'.

The TV debates, then, were a very rare moment in which a slightly more liberal-left voice could speak to the public without the distorting frame of pre-emptive abuse and distortion. The window of permissible opinion was opened a little – and people responded with a wave of enthusiasm. It could've been opened wider still – to the Greens, say – and found a receptive audience too.

All these front page smear stories about Nick Clegg only serve to bolster the narrative that he has shaken the political establishment prompting them to speak with one voice in condemning him.

Its unsurprising the political/media class are overwhelmingly content with soap opera politics and opinion polls. If you want to enter the gritty world of actual politics, just like the Matrix, you take the blue pill, and swiftly realise that it resembles a post-apocolyptic dystopia where people wear dull, fraying attire and the only food available is ready brek.

Cameron's election message is now essentially "don't vote for the Lib Dems because I want to win"

But this attempt to stop the British people understanding the class differences underpinning the election campaign is part of a wider effort to stop us understanding how our society still works. Cameron keeps saying class doesn't matter any more, and "it's not where you're from that matters, it's where you're going." But today, a child born into a poor family has to be 20 IQ points smarter than a child born into a rich family to have the same income when he is an adult. To a kid born in east London, the glistening towers of the City – just a 10-minute walk away – may as well be on a different planet.