A WATCHED POT NEVER BOILS

 This happens to me so frequently I’ve started trying to take control of it.

Going off your example, the delivery is supposed to arrive at 2pm, but I already know it will not arrive until I jump in the shower. It will arrive as soon as I get in the shower whether that’s now or an hour from now, so I might as well just shower now and get it over with.

level 2

CUCApresident

33 points·1 day ago

My mum calls this the Pulp Fiction effect, from that bit with Uma Thurman in the diner. Your food will arrive as soon as you leave to go to the bathroom, so if you’re hungry, go to the bathroom

level 3

calabasas14

8 points·1 day ago

I’ve been living with it for about 2 years now. It sure if it’s something that stops, but it’s still shocking how consistent the results are.

Is there a word or phrase to describe the act of waiting to do something because you’re expecting something else to happen, then the thing you’re expecting takes longer than you thought, so you commence the thing you were waiting to do, only for the thing you were expecting to happen happens?

Yeah, it's called lighting a cigarette at the bus stop

 it's important to have views but it's also important to know what you're talking about

This perfectly sums up the gap between the woke self-image and reality. The woke affect to care for the excluded, yet cannot find room for talented people of colour in their own ranks. They present themselves as passionate campaigners for justice, yet they are ready to yield to the whims of the mob and dole out summary retribution to anyone deemed a heretic. They claim to be the allies of the oppressed, yet have no time to listen to their real priorities. They purport to seek greater diversity, yet require all women or all ethnic minorities to share their view or be branded quislings.

best qualified as - 

poacher turned gamekeeper

GO TO THE MATRESSES

 I'd best run that past xxxxx as a courtesy .......